


Can't Seem To Let You Go (Can't Seem To Hold You Close)

by Jackdaw816



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adultery, Angst, Cheating, Infidelity, M/M, No Fluff, Song Lyrics, sorry folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 06:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19126843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw816/pseuds/Jackdaw816
Summary: He's slipping away.





	Can't Seem To Let You Go (Can't Seem To Hold You Close)

**Author's Note:**

> As it says in the tags, this is not a happy fic. There is infidelity, so if that is not your style, please move along. It is not romanticized, however. This is based on a song, but I'm going to name it in the endnotes for an untainted experience. I'm only a little sorry. This was really fun to write.

It was 6 o’clock in the morning and Gabriel still wasn’t home. Again. Sam had woken up to a half-empty bed. But he was used to it, Gabriel worked strange hours. He was usually gone all night a few times a month. At first, Sam hadn’t thought much of it. He just got ready for work as usual.

But this time, something was different. Gabriel had carelessly left his phone on his nightstand. Sam picked it up, intending to drive by Gabriel’s work and drop it off to him. Before he could slip it in his bag however, it buzzed with a text. Sam instinctively looked at the screen and froze.

 

402-666-9460: Had a great time last night, baby

 

Sam’s breath caught in his throat. No. Gabriel wouldn’t. He would never. He reread the message. Maybe he could have brushed off the first part. But the nickname? Sam felt his heart sink. No, no, no. The phone buzzed again and Sam didn’t hesitate before reading the message.

 

402-666-9460: I’ll make sure to give you more of a warning next time I’m in town so your ball and chain won’t get suspicious

 

Sam felt his legs get weak and he sat down on the bed. Alright, so that was very very bad. But it wasn’t damning. Not yet. The lawyer side of him was screaming that he needed more evidence. And he did know the password to Gabriel’s phone. He only hesitated for a moment before tapping in the code.

Sam would have never intruded on Gabriel’s privacy without good reason. And hey, if he was wrong, he would just explain himself to Gabriel and hope he understood. And if he was right… no, he didn’t want to think about it.

There were no other messages from the unknown number. Either it was a wrong number or Gabriel had been deleting the messages as he received them.

 

402-666-9460: Gabriel?

 

Alright, so Gabriel was deleting the messages as he received them. Fuck. Sam pulled out his own phone and made a quick call.

“Ash, it’s me. How quickly can you restore some deleted messages?” As he listened to Ash’s reply, he started to scroll through Gabriel’s photo reel. “Uh huh. Yeah, they’re between Gabriel’s phone and 402-666-9460.”

Sam paused on a picture, dated mid-June of last year. It was a woman he didn’t recognize and Gabriel. The woman was kissing Gabriel’s cheek and Gabriel was smiling so damn brightly. Sam’s heart sank even lower. He hadn’t seen Gabriel smile like that in a long time. Not since-

The phone buzzed.

“Thank you, Ash. I owe you one.” Sam said and paused. “I’ll tell you when I figure it out.” And hung up. Tucking his phone back in his pocket with one hand, Sam reopened the messaging app with the other. He scrolled up to the very top and started reading.

The messages painted only a vague outline of Gabriel’s relationship with this woman, but three things were obvious.

 

She was from out of town and they met up whenever she was in town, about twice a month.

 

They had met last summer when Sam was in Kansas visiting his parents. Gabriel had stayed behind on that trip, claiming that he couldn’t miss work.

 

Gabriel was fucking her.

 

A tear dripped on the screen. Sam blinked. He hadn’t even realized he’d been crying. But he had a good reason. Gabriel was cheating on him. Had been for months. Gabriel’s phone dropped to the carpet and Sam buried his face in his hands. He stayed that way for a long while. Crying… and plotting out next steps. He gave Ash another call.

***

Gabriel slunk in the door about two hours later. He was surprised to see Sam sitting and waiting for him.

“Hey, Sam. Shouldn’t you be at work?” He asked, tossing his jacket over the back of a chair. Sam didn’t look at him.

“You left your phone at home,” Sam stated, holding it up, but making no move to give it to Gabriel. Gabriel patted his pocket and grinned.

“I guess I did. Thanks, but you should have just left it here for me. My phone was no reason to miss work.” Gabriel walked closer, and Sam turned to face him, face chillingly neutral.

“But it was,” Sam said, voice calm. “See, you got some very important texts from Kali.” To Gabriel’s credit, he barely flinched.

“Oh, really? So important that you had to read them?” Gabriel retorted, just a touch of anger slipping into his tone. Sam grinned, slightly.

“It was an accident. But how we got here doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I know.” Sam said, the smile disappearing as he stood. Gabriel grinned half-heartedly.

“Know what, babe?” Gabriel asked innocently. But the pet name fell flat, and his eyes darted nervously.

“I know what you did last summer,” Sam said bitterly. “I know who you did last summer.” Gabriel let out an awkward laugh and walked to stand by Sam.

“What do you mean, Samshine? You know I don’t have eyes for anyone but you, baby.” Gabriel purred and tried to kiss him. Sam pushed him off.

“Are you sure?” Sam said coldly. “See, the pictures on your phone and the messages I had Ash recover tell a different story.”

“Sam-” Gabriel tried, but Sam walked away. He turned back to face Gabriel, toying with his ring.

“You know, at first I didn’t believe it. I thought there’s no way that Gabriel would cheat. No way in hell. After all, he’s my _husband_. Till death do us part, right?” Sam ranted, his tone mostly even. Gabriel just stood there.

“Sammy, just let me-” Gabriel pleaded.

“My name is Sam,” Sam said, tone as sharp as broken glass. Gabriel flinched and ducked his head. Ever since they had gotten married, three years ago, Sam hadn’t protested to any of Gabriel’s nicknames.

“Look me in the eyes, _lover_.” Sam spat. Gabriel looked up, and Sam met his eyes. When they had first met, all those years ago in college, Sam had been attracted to Gabriel’s eyes right away. They were so bright and lively.  Now they were dull and haunted.

“Tell me where you’ve been,” Sam whispered, almost like a prayer. Gabriel shook his head.

“I won’t, Sam. No point,” Gabriel said, tone almost remorseful. “You know.” Sam bit his lip.

“I know, I know, I know.” Sam spat. “But what do I know? I know that another’s hands have touched your skin. I know that you loved me at one time.” Gabriel flinched at the past tense. “I know what you promised me that night. But hey, that doesn’t matter. No, that’s in the past. I’m just hanging on to all the words you _used_ to say.” Without warning, Sam closed the distance between them and pushed Gabriel up against the wall with a bang.

“Sam!” Gabriel squeaked. Sam’s eyes were cold. He could smell something exotic on Gabriel. Kali’s perfume. Sam tightened his grip on Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Tell me something, Gabriel. Do you love her? Is she gonna stay with you? Or did you just throw away our everything for nothing?” Sam hissed, face two inches away from Gabriel’s. He watched Gabriel’s eyes cloud with panic and realization.

“I didn’t mean it though, Sam. You know I didn’t mean it.” Gabriel pleaded. “She doesn’t mean anything to me, baby.” Sam stepped back, releasing Gabriel.

“I know you didn’t mean it. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, Gabriel.” Sam said, emotionless. Despite his shoulder twinging, Gabriel threw himself around Sam.

“She means nothing to me. Don’t let me go, Sam, just hold me close.” Gabriel begged, looking up at Sam, eyes filling with tears. “I’ll do anything, baby, just don’t leave me.” He promised, his eyes telling Sam exactly what he meant by anything.

“I’m sorry, Gabriel,” Sam said, barely keeping his own tears at bay. He freed himself from Gabriel’s grasp and stumbled backward. He held out Gabriel’s phone to him, his hand shaking. Gabriel took it from him.

“So now what?” Gabriel said. Sam stood tall, ignoring the urges telling him to kiss Gabriel and/or punch him.

“I want a divorce. And I want you out of the house.” Sam said, his voice lawyer-serious. Gabriel nodded, his emotions carefully restrained and his face neutral.

“I respect that,” Gabriel said. “You have my number. Text me when I can come and get my shit out of your house.” He turned to leave but paused. Sam held his breath. Gabriel, especially this unknown Gabriel, was a wild card. Gabriel looked back.

“Sam, I still love you.” He confessed. Sam smiled sadly. No matter how much he may change, he was still Gabriel at his core. And it broke Sam’s heart to dwell on it for even a moment.

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> The song is I Know What You Did Last Summer by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello. I, uh, don't know how to link stuff, so you're just gonna have to look it up on your own.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at @shejustcalledmeafish Come and say hi! 
> 
> Feel free to yell at me in the comments. I deserve it.


End file.
